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When I was dating, I began to hate when people asked if I had found “the one” or my “soulmate.” How was I supposed to know? Deciding who you’re going to spend your life with is huge and sometimes scary. Greek mythology says that you are meant to have one soulmate.1 I don’t believe that’s necessarily the case because that means that you could potentially fall in love with the “wrong one.”

I’ve found often times that we look to someone else to make these big decisions for us. We take quizzes in magazines, find checklists online, or watch movies; all to make sure that guy we’re dating really is “the one.” The world tries to tell us what the “perfect man” really is and that the relationship is doomed if every box isn’t checked. Ultimately, I feel like it’s not really about finding your soulmate, but finding someone who fits into your life and compliments you and your life in a way that nobody else would.

My husband and I are complete opposites in our personalities, likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses… the list could go on. This makes things really hard sometimes, but we got married knowing it would be hard. We wanted to spend our lives together. One of my favorite quotes, one that I remind myself of constantly, is from the movie The Notebook:

“So, it’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be really hard; we’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day.”

As a newlywed, I can definitely agree with this! When it comes down to it, relationships are not about finding your soulmate, but about committing to that relationship. So, if you really want to know if you’ve found your soulmate, check your motives and really consider these few things:

  • Intentional choices: Make choices that you know will help the relationship and not destroy it.
  • Commitment: You have to commit yourself to this person and not run away at any sign of trouble.
  • Sacrifice: Not everything is about you all the time and sometimes you need to give up what you want for what they want.

It is not easy; nobody ever said it was, but finding that one person that you don’t want to live without is totally worth it. Think about it this way…. You may not know if he really is the one for you, but after you say “I do”, that person is “the one!”


Written by: Lexie Christian, Office Coordinator

1Meha, Nivanya. "What Is the Theory of Soul Mates According to Greek Mythology?" Last modified 2014. Accessed 2018.